More in Humor

  • Apr 6, 2012

    The Mayor of Carbopolis

    Make a note: If you’re going to tour a sugar processing plant, be sure to take a spoon with you....More
  • Mar 18, 2012

    She’ll have the fish

    There's a reason I'm a farmer, not a fisherman. Even with two seasickness bracelets on each wrist, I still couldn't stomach my latest adventure at sea....More
  • Feb 26, 2012

    Saved by a buoy

    Sometimes what looks to be a wild-goose chase leads you to your correct destination after all....More
  • Jan 25, 2012

    It’s not the heat; it’s the stupidity

    Let's say, hypothetically, you get a blast of cold winter air and find that your newly installed cattle waterer is frozen. What do you do? Let's just say there are some problems you can "overcorrect."...More
  • Dec 13, 2011

    Some assistance with a Bunyan problem

    Some days start out easy enough. They appear to be fairly stress-free and sometimes even wide-open. Then my phone rings and the whole picture changes in seconds....More
  • Nov 14, 2011

    Taking aim

    While I've been busy running a combine, a Ranch Hand, a round baler and a few tractors the last couple of weeks, Sherill has had other things on her agenda. She's been shooting kids, the elderly, and the infirm on a regular basis....More
  • Oct 6, 2011

    I’m on a mission from Joan

    In the first week of September, I found there was really nothing pressing to be done. So on Labor Day Monday, Sherill and I got in the car and headed to The Great Minnesota Get-Together!...More
  • Sep 7, 2011

    Figuring the flight plan

    Did you do anything interesting last month? I dug a grave and buried a guy. Want to fold now?...More
  • Jul 12, 2011

    With free installation

    I found out that bees come in small packages. Transporting bees is nothing like transporting hay. Not even close....More
  • Jun 3, 2011

    Gotta bid to buzz

    Let's say, hypothetically, that you want to raise bees. You need the right equipment to make that happen, especially if the end goal is to generate some honey production and sales....More
  • May 3, 2011

    Getting a PhD in J-B Weld

    Sometimes the parts come apart. That's the way things work in the mechanical world. The solution is to find a way to keep them working the way they're supposed to work....More
  • Apr 1, 2011

    Back on the horse again

      When you get tossed off a horse, the best thing to do is to get back in the saddle again. That's how the theory goes, anyway. Could be just an Internet rumor. It probably showed up in an e-mail from one of my aunts with a subject line that began with "Fw: Fw: Fw:"   Of course, there could be some truth to it....More
  • Mar 7, 2011

    Go fish

    Let's get one thing straight. I'm a land-based mammal. You're a land-based mammal. We're all land-based mammals....More
  • Feb 4, 2011

    I think I can. I think I can.

    Don’t cows understand that icy roads make it hard to deliver hay to their rightful owners? Would it be asking too much for them to munch a bit more conservatively during the worst of the winter weather?...More
  • Jan 4, 2011

    Taking up a collection for Bambi

    While I was seated at the grill one August evening, my phone rang. It was a guy who lives about 30 miles away. In early June that year, he had stopped by to perform a service for me. He does fertility tests on bulls and also custom-collects semen from them for A.I. We had one bull checked and collected that day. Since it was time to breed my heifers that week, I needed the product this guy had collected back in June. He gets the job done, then he takes the semen back to his place to run it through the lab, package it and store it in his liquid nitrogen tanks....More
  • Dec 2, 2010

    Ranger Rick and the outstanding balance

    Sometime late last fall, as I was walking from the cattle shed back to the house, I noticed something odd on the roof of my house. It was one of the attic vent covers hanging loose. We had experienced a bit of wind recently, so I figured it may have been knocked loose.   A contractor came out a couple days later and took a look at the situation. He had a replacement vent that would fit, so he put it on and went on his way. A day or two later, the other vent came loose. I called the roofer again, and he made another appearance to check things out....More
  • Nov 11, 2010

    Skinny, the Barn Mortician

    Let's get one thing out of the way up front. I'm not into antiques. Yeah, yeah, the GuyNo2Mobile is a 1961 Volkswagen and technically an antique, but it's modified enough that it probably ticks off antique purists. If I rub the purists the wrong way, that's a good thing, in my book.  ...More
  • Oct 1, 2010

    The Heat, Line 1

    Here’s Jeff’s account of how he came to be the proud owner of one of only six Ranch Hands ever made, a machine that Jeff describes as “a hybrid between a pickup and a tractor…on steroids.”...More

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