Or what we could do...

Sep 3, 2008 4:32 PM, By Jeff Ryan

I got the wire off and then quickly made my way to the next fence in the pasture to get it out of the way before A.J. Foyt got to it with the shed-on-wheels. It wasn’t as easy as the last one, because I decided not to press my actuarial luck. This fence was yanked clean off the corner post and dragged out of the way before A.J. got there with the load. You can't snag a wire that isn’t there. We had a load that was maybe 16 to 20 feet wide, but I cleared off a path that was 120 feet wide. I wanted to make sure I had all the bases covered before Guy No. 1’s A-D-D-riddled brain kicked into overdrive and he decided to change positions as he approached the last fence. If I gave him 40 feet, he’d choose a spot that was 42 feet from the post and claim it was more level as he dragged the wire with him on the back corner of the shed. Give him a 6-to-1 ratio for hitting that target and then it’s easier to be William Tell.

That was pretty much the last hurdle to clear before we got the cargo into the right spot for a proper download. We now had it positioned right where we wanted it. Well, sort of. We had it positioned about 40 feet from the gulley where the brush pile (read: spare kindling) was. The plan was to take the loader tractor and nudge the cargo from the trailer onto the ground and then push it into the ditch.

The Chairman arrived on the scene with the loader tractor. Since there were no bothersome tie-down straps to remove, I was free to watch from a distance. Our thinking was that the granary would tip off the side of the trailer and either collapse into a heap, or land with a gentle plop and then we'd shove it the rest of the way to the ditch once the trailer was moved out of the way.

Good thing we didn’t burn that baby in its original location. There were apparently a BILLION nails holding it together! The Chairman gave the shed a nudge and it pretty much did a barrel roll into the ditch . . . completely intact!

You’ve heard of Little House on the Prairie? We now have Little House in the Ditch.

My guess is that the shed is haunted and/or possessed. I’ll call Steven King to run it past him. Probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to have him on speed-dial anyway.
Guy No. 2