Properly Coated

Jun 30, 2008 2:13 PM

The clothes make the man, as the saying goes. It’s somewhat similar if the man is in agriculture. The more accurate phrase is, “The vendor makes the farmer.”

Farmers aren’t exactly NASCAR drivers, but if you want to give us an article of clothing with your logo or company name on it, do it for free and we will be your personal billboard. You need to be a bit realistic in your expectations, however. Farmers have standards. They’re not so high as to make Olympic track and field types shy away, but they are higher than your average limbo bar.

First of all, your item needs to be functional. Nothing says functional like a hat or a jacket. Following closely behind would be leather gloves. Everyone wears these things; everyone needs to update them once in awhile. Slap a logo on any of those items and they will get used.

Right after functional would be fashionable. No, seriously. Okay, okay, so the first thing that comes to mind when you think fashionable is not, “I saw this really sharp-looking farmer who . . . .” Even so, some of us still like to look good.

Stick with the basics. For color, you need something a farmer will wear. Green, red, blue, gray, orange, yellow, basic black or white will get worn. That may be the order, too. I have rules. If I’m going to use it for work (and still expand my audience), I’m not going to sport something in flashy white that’s going to get dirty. That’s why Two Guys Farming hats are gray.

If you’re going to give me a hat with your logo on it, make sure it’s not pink. It can be the coolest style ever, but if any of my farmer friends are going to give me static when I’m seen in it, chances are it will end up in a Hefty bag with the latest junk mail. No, on second thought, it won’t go with the junk mail. That means it could be recycled. It could extend its life over and over, like Jason in those Friday the 13th movies. Or like a fruitcake. Gone would be better. A pink hat will be buried — composted at the very least.

Any marketer will tell you that a product needs to make a bold statement. Here’s a bulletin. Farmers aren’t into bold. We like small statements on fairly mundane clothing. A splash of color is okay, but it can’t get too wild. We think UPS uniforms are high-octane. When the cops in Homicide need to do a lineup to positively identify a criminal, you won’t see them get a guy from a skateboard park, another one from an inner city hip-hop club, and a farmer, with the idea the perp could be any of those three. “Yes, officer, I saw the whole thing. He was 5 feet 10, average build, he was wearing a big gold medallion — oh, and his neon pink hat was on sideways. I’m pretty sure he was a farmer.”