Please, have a seat
Mar 18, 2009 1:57 PM, By Jeff Ryan
RC’s reply was priceless: “YOU’RE KIDDING ABOUT HIS CHAIR RIGHT. RCJ”
Welcome to my world, RC.
Once my schedule and the weather cooperated enough, I finally slipped away on a chair mission to central Iowa. I entered the address information for the furniture store into Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong on my dash and made my way to Chair Central. The moment I walked in the door, I had a hunch it was going to be pointless. Everything around me seemed to be sort of a minimalist display. None of the office chairs looked to be very beefy. They looked like kind of spindly, flyweight stuff. I did not see a single chair that would make me want to kick back, toss my feet up on my rich, mahogany desk, light a cigar and explain to a guy in a seed corn hat why signing a purchase agreement for a $350,000 combine was a good thing. I saw a lot of chairs you’d sit in to call someone and tell him his insurance premium was being raised and his coverage was being denied.
The sales guy seemed to try to steer me into a couple of flyweight-style chairs. Once I determined he wasn’t going to help, I decided to play along as though I actually cared what he was telling me. “Yeah, I’d love to see the literature for this art deco piece of junk so I can choose whether I want pewter or metal flake for the arms. Swatches! Please tell me we’re going to move to fabric swatches next!”
No sense wasting any more of everyone’s collective time. I hit the road again. Somewhere out there, comfortable seating was waiting for me.
I programmed my destination into my Garmin GPS and got to the giant Redeker’s store in Boone. It only took a second or two once I was inside before a sales associate asked me if she could help. We went back to the far corner of the complex and looked at a couple of nearly flyweight chairs. Then I mentioned that I was looking for something with a really high back, and preferably covered with some deceased bovine. That took us around another corner to a different display.
Just as we made the turn, I was pretty sure I heard a chorus of harps. Lo and behold, the chair I was looking for was right in front of me. With all the self-control I could muster, I managed not to scream, “DONE! Load it up!” Instead, I looked it over and sat down for a test. It was A+ work, maybe even with extra credit had there been a footrest to kick out on the bottom of it. There was no footrest, so I’d have to settle for just an A+ chair.
Then came the good part. I looked at the tag on the chair. A suggested retail price of $1,399. That was actually cheaper than I expected. However, let’s get real. Suggested retail??? Jeff Ryan??? C’mon!
Redeker’s had the chair priced to move. It started with a 7.
Done and done.
We went to the front counter to do the paperwork, and my salesperson asked if I wanted the chair delivered. I suggested that I had my truck, so I’d take it with me, because I was pretty sure they wouldn’t deliver it where I live. That’s when I pulled out my card and handed it to her. She read the card and laughed. Perhaps she will follow up and actually visit the Web site on the card to read some stuff. Thanks to her company’s lovely product, I am confident the Web site humor supply will not run out for some time to come.
Now, if you will excuse me, I have some work to do. I just hope I don’t drift off to sleep in the pillowy, luxurious comfort of the Guy No. 2 task chair.
Guy No. 2
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