Modern conveniences and gadgets are kind of handy, especially for guys. Life without a cell phone? Well, that’s not life; that’s barely existence.

But what happens when the gadgets don't work right? Life just isn’t as complete. Nothing will return it to its glory like a trip to Gadget Guy.

Longtime staffer, Lorne, was the first victim, er, uh, participant. His cell phone kept cutting out during calls. Lorne was starting to shout at everyone on the phone. He took his phone to Radio Shack to have Gadget Guy help him. Gadget Guy took the phone to the back room. That means serious business. The really easy stuff they can do at the front counter. The back room meant Gadget Guy was probably going to do gadget surgery. Maybe he’d even use a big hammer but didn’t want to let the customer witness anything.

Two minutes later, Gadget Guy came back. “Do you farm?” he asked Lorne.

“Yeah. Why?” Lorne inquired.

“I knew it. You see, your problem was that this (removing something from his other hand) was blocking your microphone!” In his hand was a giant piece of cornstalk.

Lorne sheepishly thanked Gadget Guy and went on his way.

This week, I had problems with my phone. None of my power cords were keeping it charged. I had to make the trek to Gadget Guy for help.

Once again, Gadget Guy headed to the back room. Again, he was gone about a minute before he came back.

“You bale a lot of hay and carry your phone in your front pocket, don’t you?” Gadget Guy asked me.

“Yes, about 300 acres each year. It’s my life . . . and the shirt pocket is convenient,” I replied.

“Well, your problem is a combination of chaff and lint!” Gadget Guy exclaimed.

He brought out his surgical tools and began extracting a small bale from within my phone. I suggested we get a Baggie so I could send a sample to the lab. Gadget Guy felt the quantity was adequate for that. Then, he pulled out a piece of straw.

“Uh-oh. I see some purity problems here!”

I smiled, thanked him sheepishly and returned home. All the way there, I was just glad it wasn’t, you know, animal fertilizer that was extracted. Then I’d really look like a hillbilly.

Guy No. 2