Farm Industry News Blog

The ultimate honey-do list

Jeff Ryan takes readers through another adventure on his Iowa farm as he embarks on a mission to find a good place to extract honey.

As George Carlin would say, we needed a place for our stuff. We wanted someplace where we could process honey and we wanted it to be easily accessible and clean enough to use for food production.  Lo and behold, a guy named Craig and his list came to the rescue. Someone passed along a link to me of an ad from Craigslist for a small building. It was 10 ft. by 12 ft. and seemed to be just what we needed. It also happened to be located within a few miles of us. Better yet, it was owned by someone I knew. One half of the couple used to cut my hair. The other half of the couple used to be the foreman at the company where our livestock trailer was made. These weren't complete strangers who'd end up murdering me and mailing my carcass fragments in several small business reply envelopes like your average Craigslist consignor would / does. (I checked that on Snopes after I got it in a Fw: Fw: Fw: email. It’s not just true, but fairly common. Look it up. "Cause of death: Craigslist" shows up on more death certificates than you think!)

Sherill and I took a short trip to the other side of rural Cresco and checked out the building. It looked like it would suit our needs quite nicely. The price was right, so we decided to take it.

Okay, that was a poor verb choice. We decided to buy it. Big difference. The buying was the easy part. The taking was another matter.

This is a portable building. It's not anchored to a concrete foundation. It's not built with poles stuck in the ground. It's a shed built on two beams with tapered ends. Realistically, a guy could just hook a chain onto that puppy and drag it home. Of course, a guy could just have two splinters left instead of beams by the time it was home, too. Nothing else I've ever dragged down the gravel has ever gotten better as a result. We didn't need to reinvent the wheel here; we just needed to apply the wheel properly.

That's when I went into detective mode. This shed didn't just sprout from the ground where it was, I surmised. It had to get there somehow. Surely it could leave the same way. I'd be hitting the Rewind and Play buttons on my DVR of life.

It got there on a truck, so it could leave on a truck. Get a truck to haul it for me. Preferably, it would be a truck with a hydraulic hoist and a tilt bed. Back up to it, tilt the bed, hook on to it and winch it onto the truck and then leave. Get home and do the whole lather-rinse-repeat process again in reverse. Pretty simple.

Multiple calls were made to people with trucks. A grand total of zero responses were generated. No one else wanted in on this rare opportunity.

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The Farm Industry News Blog features commentary from Willie Vogt, Daryl Bridenbaugh and Jeff Ryan.

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